I haven't been in touch with myself lately, nor with the world around me. It's one of those times when you are where you're supposed to be but you're not really in the moment.
Sometimes things just happen. Some you cause. Others you could do nothing about. Some you could alter. Others render you helpless.
A friend died of AIDS. I don't know how he got it. What I do know is that he's only 25 years old and he has bid the world goodbye.
I finally went out with J, someone I immensely liked for a very long time. We had a late supper on a Friday night, the 13th. Things were going great until I turned brash and brazen. Now he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Bad Peter.
O wanted me to pick him up and then buy him dinner on what would've been our first date. Never happened.
I wanted to go out dancing with T but he asked with impertinence, "Can't we just have sex instead?!" I wanna dance, dammit!
M likes me, so my friends tell me. But I don't see him anything more than friends. Believe me I tried very hard to picture us together. Blurry.
E and I hit it up pretty good, and then I find out later he's already seeing someone. He says, "Let's be friends. 'Coz down the road, you never know..." Whatever.
N and I have a lot of things in common. Movies, music, food. Never a dull moment, as the cliche goes. And he's cute. But he's not gay. Not gay!
So I'm taking a break from dating for a while. Can you blame me?
For some reason I have yet to recognize, I developed an aversion towards Facebook. I haven't logged on for more than a month already. If you are reading this right now through FB, that's because it's programmed to upload anything I post from my blog.
Many thanks to all who, despite my indefinite hiatus, post on my wall, poke me, send me alerts and write me messages. I'll be back. Maybe.
Most important, my good friend, Bernie; My electronic pal for 12 years who I met for the very first time and showed me around his home city of Chicago: The most important person in his life, his mother, passed away.
This is the only thing that made me regret not having been visible in FB where he made the announcement. I found out several days later through his personal text message to me.
There are also professional and family issues that tie me down but I've shared enough.
I want to be with myself but I can't reach me.
I just want to be alone tonight.
Like I've always been.
Sometimes things just happen. Some you cause. Others you could do nothing about. Some you could alter. Others render you helpless.
A friend died of AIDS. I don't know how he got it. What I do know is that he's only 25 years old and he has bid the world goodbye.
I finally went out with J, someone I immensely liked for a very long time. We had a late supper on a Friday night, the 13th. Things were going great until I turned brash and brazen. Now he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Bad Peter.
O wanted me to pick him up and then buy him dinner on what would've been our first date. Never happened.
I wanted to go out dancing with T but he asked with impertinence, "Can't we just have sex instead?!" I wanna dance, dammit!
M likes me, so my friends tell me. But I don't see him anything more than friends. Believe me I tried very hard to picture us together. Blurry.
E and I hit it up pretty good, and then I find out later he's already seeing someone. He says, "Let's be friends. 'Coz down the road, you never know..." Whatever.
N and I have a lot of things in common. Movies, music, food. Never a dull moment, as the cliche goes. And he's cute. But he's not gay. Not gay!
So I'm taking a break from dating for a while. Can you blame me?
For some reason I have yet to recognize, I developed an aversion towards Facebook. I haven't logged on for more than a month already. If you are reading this right now through FB, that's because it's programmed to upload anything I post from my blog.
Many thanks to all who, despite my indefinite hiatus, post on my wall, poke me, send me alerts and write me messages. I'll be back. Maybe.
Most important, my good friend, Bernie; My electronic pal for 12 years who I met for the very first time and showed me around his home city of Chicago: The most important person in his life, his mother, passed away.
This is the only thing that made me regret not having been visible in FB where he made the announcement. I found out several days later through his personal text message to me.
There are also professional and family issues that tie me down but I've shared enough.
I want to be with myself but I can't reach me.
I just want to be alone tonight.
Like I've always been.
so sorry to hear about your friend and for Bernie too.
ReplyDeleteI think the time will come for your love story. Can I just add even if you won't believe that the Lord is writing it for you.
wait and see. I had to wait for a long time and was miserable remember. Even with having the boys around I still felt alone.
Not anymore and its not because of BB.
- equinetrot88
Tue, December 1, 2009 6:42:04 AM