Home Alone Again

Airports are one of the places that make me feel happy and excited. Luggage in tow, tickets and ID ready, people walking to and fro gleaming hallways bursting with activity. The spirit of adventure waiting in the wings pervade the atmosphere.

Airports are also one of the places that make me feel sad. Sending friends off, bidding relatives farewell, and kissing loved ones goodbye with the hope, no matter how uncertain, that you will meet again sometime in the future.

Mama, youngest sis Candy, and I spent forty memorable days together in Los Angeles. Their stay seems quite long, yet short just the same. No matter how many days you spend with family, it never seems enough by the time you part ways.

Mama is returning to San Francisco where she stays most of the year. Candy will be going back to the Philippines a week after. We exchanged kisses as well as tears as we said our goodbyes at LAX, my voice breaking when I thanked them both for the time they shared.

I sheltered inside Angelino in the airport parking lot and waited until the plane departed. Once I arrived home I stayed in the car for a while and thought about driving solo from hereon. With a deep breath, I stepped out and tapped Angelino’s roof to bid him good night, “No more car pool lanes, G. It’s just you and me now, buddy.”


When I got into my apartment, I took a good look around and let reality sink in. It’s just me again. It’s the same gnawing feeling whenever I find myself home alone after being with loved ones for quite a while.

There will be no one to share meals with. No more waiting in line for the bathroom. No elbows to hit in the cramped kitchen. Nor small chatter at night that put us all to sleep. I won’t be hearing “Makaon na!” (Let’s eat) or “Gudnayt” for a long time.

I reread "Malungkot" and "Glad to be Sad" to help me remember and help appease the loneliness. I also started to get busy with leftover chores to keep my mind off things.

By late evening, I rekindle my relationship with my blog.

And I find myself.

Seattle Sights

Like most families, ours make it a point to get together every holiday season. This year, we converged in the Evergreen State’s Emerald City - Seattle.

The following thumbnails are links to an online album. Right click on each one and choose to either open in a new window or tab so you don't navigate away from the site.



My mother, my two sisters and I reunite this holiday season to celebrate family togetherness.

Seattle Reunion

Some of the city's points of interests.

Seattle City Sites

Residents of Pacific Science Center's butterfly house, Seattle Aquarium and Woodland Park Zoo.

Seattle Animals

Seagulls are frequent flyers-by on our penthouse balcony.

Seattle Seagulls

Some of the textures and flavors of Seattle. Savor Seattle Food Tours helped us in our gastronomical adventure.

Seattle Food

A smorgasbord of images & emotions.

Seattle Moods

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Photos in this post are author's property.

Food, Friends & Family

My brief stay in the Philippines wasn't much of a vacation. Aside from the occasional doctors and therapists visits for Mama, days were mostly spent for errands, particularly leftover things-to-do when Papa died and our family business closed several years ago. I never knew there were fees to pay the city when a family member passes and when you close business. There were also a lot of stuff to arrange and fix after we were asked to move out of our childhood home.

Food was how close it came to vacation. Every supper was made special by my aunt who is from Bulacan, one of many Philippine provinces known for its culinary contribution to Filipino food. When eating out, we feasted on both new stuff and the tried and tested. Food is such a socio-cultural element that it becomes the thread of communication for any type of gathering.

A good friend and former colleague in the TV industry arranged lunch at Sonya’s Garden in Alfonso, Cavite, about 2-3 hours south of Manila. It was an al fresco lunch in a lush tropical setting. People who are crazy about organic food should come here where almost all ingredients - from crisp salad reds, yellows and greens to the free-flowing, freshly-squeezed dalandan juice - are homegrown. The pesto dip was extraordinary. The turon with langka was the perfect finale.

Old friendships from elementary, high school and college were also rekindled. It was time well spent as we updated each other on our current lives and reminisced the old days with the same enthusiasm. Food was at the centerpiece, as always. Stories of yore never seem to grow old as we recalled the same much-enjoyed happenings and laughed at the same old jokes. Time never seemed enough for new stories about new adventures and milestones in our lives.

Most important, there was family. Home is where the heart is, as they say. You don’t have to be somewhere exotic, somewhere expensive, somewhere extraordinary (not that there’s anything wrong with that) to have a wonderful time. My mom, my youngest sister and I found ourselves reunited at Chocolate Kiss Cafe at the University of the Philippines in Quezon City, sans eldest sister and dad. I have to say their new Quezo Chiffon Cake is luxuriously luscious. Go!

Ultimately, no matter where you are, no matter what you do, as long as you are surrounded by people you love and people who love you, the moment is good enough, even though it’s only for a moment.
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Photo in this post is author's property.

Encoded Emotions

Mama is in Legaspi, the provincial city where all three of us her children were born and raised. Our eldest is in Florida. Our youngest is in Metro Manila. I, the middle child, am in California. Not so long ago we agreed to meet after not having seen each other between eight months and five years. No, we were not about to converge in one particular geographical point. We were to stay put and communicate at the touch of a button.

It was a big day for all of us especially Mama who, being a baby boomer, was about to embark on an electronic journey unlike any of her previous ventures. She has gone as far as being a competently dextrous and jargon-enabled consumer of text messaging. But the keyboard and monitor are alien to her. Say "mouse" and she might be on her toes for a rodent resident. And it amazes her no end how a small widget as a webcam was about to enable all of us to see each other despite thousands of miles of oceans in between.

In place of location, the different time zones became the order of the event. Night and day were about to mesh as each of us sought out a terminal from which to transmit our words and image, our thoughts and feelings: Mama and our youngest had to go to an internet cafe, our eldest and I each had an accessible PC from home.

Like any pioneer endeavor, we spent a great deal of time and effort stumbling though the technical set-up. With help from shop assistants, Mama was the first to broadcast her image and voice. I was smiling from ear to hear seeing her with a rather large headset clumping on her ears. And the microphone curving outwards to her lips made her seem like a burger joint crew captain or Madonna in concert.

In between configuring our respective pieces of chilly metals and hard plastic, our mother, being virtually on top of it all, was regulating the conversation. My sisters were simultaneously conversing with her while integrating their hardwares and softwares. No sooner was everyone transmitting spoken words and streaming images - everyone but me. Unfortunately, my audio and video were not in their optimal functionality. I can hear and see them all but they couldn't do likewise with me. I was digitally detached. So, the keyboard became my tool and encoded language my format. My words will have to be typewritten in response to theirs spoken.

They were all quite dismayed at my technological disadvantage. In the vastness of the internet universe, the only thing Mother planet wanted was to see and hear her terestrially distant yet emotionally proximate sattelites. Seeking reassurance, she asked me if I could hear and see her. I inscribed, "Iyo po, Mama, dangog ta 'ka, hiling ta 'ka." (Yes, Mama, I can hear you, I can see you.) She looked wondrously into the monitor and uttered the words that seemed to have magically appeared onscreen. When she got to the last word, she sat in silence and swelled with tears of joy.

So, there we were in different parts of the world conveying to each other through the internet our significant joys and pains, our little triumphs and defeats, our current issues and concerns; I, in particular, communicating with my fingers. From then on, our web conferences had become a constant electronic affair averaging twice a month, with our four-way audio-video interface in full technical functioning.

It's amazing how technology touches human lives, how it enables us to transcend cold hardware and insentient software and transmit emotions. In certain ways, technology does brings people closer together. How it equips us to navigate our way to other people's hearts is nothing short of awe-inspiring.